Regulus Counseling
Life Adjustments
“True navigation begins in the human heart. It’s the most important map of all.” –Elizabeth Kapu’uwailani Lindsey, first Polynesian Explorer and first female Fellow of the National Geographic Society
Grief and Loss
One of the most heartbreaking things we experience as humans is loss, and we grieve for that loss. One myth about grief is that there is a set duration of time. There isn’t. We may even grieve forever, where for some of us, that loss is so profound, we may need a little extra help and support to manage that grief.
When we love someone, we easily slip into the present tense when we speak of them. That is normal. That person is still present for us, as that person will always be a part of us. Grief, like memories, will always hurt, but will also happen alongside all other emotions. Our memories will always be bittersweet, so we never truly move on, we move forward with those memories.
Pet Bereavement
“We envision a world where every senior dog thrives, and no old dog dies along and afraid.” The Grey Muzzle Organization
Our companion animals are not just pets, they are family. We love them, as deeply, and we grieve for them, as deeply. We grow together with each day; those days turn into months, those months turn into years. Our companion animals may only be here for a part of our lives, but to them, we are their whole lives, which tragically, is far too short. Whether due to old age, or to infirm, we make the heartbreaking decision to gift them peace with dignity.
Our clinicians will help you navigate this loss with empathy and compassion, as we, too, are privileged to have companion animals in our families. We can offer you incredible resources, whether you have recently lost a companion animal, or are in the process. We will be with you every step helping you to navigate not only the physical process, but also all the powerful emotions behind that process. We are here.
Rainbow Bridge, La Connor, WAAdjustments & Life Transitions
Life can drastically change, whether from one salient moment, or a progression of an event. An unfortunate experience in life will be an inevitable loss, whether a person, a job, or even identity. However, as humans, we are resilient; most of all, we are adaptable— we adjust, we transition.
A part of that adjustment and transition is a grieving process. We grieve the person we have lost; we grieve the relationship we have lost; we grieve the person we used to be. We may not necessarily move on, but we do move with. We forge forward with that person we lost; we forge forward with what we have learned in a healthier relationship; we forge forward with who we previously were.
As life transitions can be both positive and negative, we may need a little guidance in navigating the negative or overwhelming; perhaps it is a loss of a job, or loss of a relationship. The most devastating: the loss of identity, perhaps due to a chronic, debilitating, or terminal illness— something out of our control. We do grieve for that life transition; as that transition is a loss, in order to gain.
Most Common Life Transitions
- Marriage
- Divorce
- Become a Parent
- Loss of Loved One
- New Job or Career Path
- Loss of Job
- Retirement
- Relocation
- Chronic or Debilitating Illness
- Terminal Illness
- Other Health Issues
Family Caregivers
Not only is there a transition for the person who now needs to be cared for, there is a transition for the family member, most often the spouse, who now takes on the role of caregiver. The dynamic of the relationship changes, where the caregiver must take on more responsibilities and consequently, additional stress. The identity discrepancy (the blurred line between spouse and caregiver) can cause a strain on the caregiver, the care recipient, and their relationship, as no one likes the term, “caregiver,” and the care recipient does not necessarily want to be taken care of, feeling as if he or she is no longer independent or have autonomy. However, coping with the reality of the situation is a crucial step.
The caregiver can also have a loss of identity, having transitioned from their role as partner, friend, confidante, to the role of caregiver, taking on much more responsibility, increasing stress level the caregiver may not even recognize or acknowledge. It is also important to recognize the caregiver, as his or her needs also matter; care giving can take a toll on the caregiver’s health, both physically and mentally.
Studies indicate:
- Approximately 18 percent of spouse caregivers of individuals with Alzheimer’s Disease or related dementia, die before their care recipients
- Approximately 30 percent of caregivers, in general, die before their care recipients
- Elderly caregivers are at a 63 percent higher risk of mortality compared to non-caregivers in the same age range
Therefore, it is imperative for caregivers to take steps towards improving their quality of life, as he or she is placing everyone else’s needs above their own, often feeling powerless. However, in a seemingly uncontrollable situation, the caregiver can become empowered by taking care of their own needs as well, setting time for themselves and not allowing anything to impede it. That time can include speaking with one of clinicians, relieving yourself of what feels to be the burden of increased responsibility, taken on alone. The caregiver must be healthy and in a good place to provide the best care. In caring for themselves, the caregiver will be in a better state of mind, not only for themselves, but also for others. We hope to embark on the journey with you, navigating through the stresses of your role as a caregiver, as you travel the path towards to your rediscovery.
It is okay to take off that superhero cape.